RoseTeaCompanions

My First Dementia Client Was a Gang Leader (And He Tried to Kill Me. Daily.) 😂

Jul 08, 2025

Let me tell you a story
About my first dementia patient, my first real lesson in elder care...
And a man who introduced himself to me like this:
👉 "If you come in here again, I’ll kill you."

❤️ Welcome to my nursing journey. Buckle up.

🎭 Meet Jeffe – The Gangster Grandpa You Wish You Never Had.
He had a long, twisted grey beard that looked like it once survived a motorcycle explosion.
Big mustaches. Steel eyes. And a voice that could turn a hospital into a ghost town.

Everyone feared Jeffe.
Except me.
Because I didn’t know who he was.

Which made me the perfect person to be assigned to him, right?

(Hint: I was the least-liked nurse that week. Karma.)

😱 “He’ll Kill You” — The Warm Welcome from Every Nurse on the Floor
"Don't go in there. Jeffe will throw a chair at you."
"He threatened me with a spoon!"
"He threw his soup bowl yesterday. With soup still in it!"

Meanwhile, I was like:
“This sounds like dinner at my grandma’s.”
(Shoutout to the Balkan parents who made ‘I’ll kill you’ a form of affection.)

💡 But Here’s the Twist… Jeffe Had Dementia.
Except no one called it that.
In our culture, we just call it:
“Rosa-sclerosa”
(A fancy made-up diagnosis that roughly translates to: "They’re old and forgetful, leave them alone.")

Write notes, leave sticky papers in every pocket, whisper reminders in their ears—whatever works.

Because dementia isn’t a disease to us, it’s aging with spice.

🧠 What I Learned from Jeffe: Dementia is a Mask-Off Moment
Jeffe couldn’t remember what he ate.
But remembered who betrayed him in 1973.

He hated police. He hated nurses.
Because they were, in his words:
👉 "All stupid."

(Translation: they didn’t understand him.)

So instead of arguing, I started guessing his needs before the “I’ll kill you” show began.
Spoiler alert:
He didn't want to kill anyone.
He wanted to be heard.

🎶 When the Real Jeffe Showed Up…
Oh, when dementia pulled the curtain back…
He was glorious.

Singing old jazz songs.
Smelling imaginary flowers.
Telling stories like a cross between Don Juan and Tony Montana.

Not violent. Just vibrant.
Not dangerous. Just demented.
(And he knew it better than anyone.)

🧡 Why Home Support Matters
People like Jeffe don’t belong tucked away, misunderstood and over-medicated.
They need love, patience, and someone who understands that "I’ll kill you" can also mean "Please don't forget me."

At home, with the right support, they bloom.
They become themselves again.
Or sometimes… someone you never even knew was there.

💬 The Last Thing Jeffe Told Me:
“Hey, little evil… if you’re gonna be wild, at least be smart.”
That was his nickname for me:
"The Little Evil" – something between a caregiver, a therapist, and a slightly annoying angel with a clipboard.

And I carry that title with pride.
Because Jeffe taught me more than any textbook ever did.

🚨 Moral of the Story:
Keep your Jeffes at home.
Support them. Laugh with them. Learn from them.
Even if they do threaten to kill you every now and then. 😂

At RoseTeaCompanions, we believe in this kind of care.
Where dementia isn’t just managed—it’s respected.
Where families are supported.
And where every Jeffe can live with dignity, laughter, and maybe even a little jazz.

Want to learn more about how our team supports individuals with dementia at home?
📞 Contact Us Today and Schedule a Free Talk - 778-776-2839